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Critic's Bucketlist

Critic's Bucketlist

This bucket-list is brought to you by our friends @criticaerohi

The critic has suspended printing over the isolation period BUT there are still pumping out content on FB. So, if you haven't already much sure you like and follow on FB and insta. 

Isolation Bucket List

1. Read a damn book
2. Clock pornhub
3. Irreparably damage your relationship with your flatmates
4. Rearrange your empty liquor bottles and call it decor
5. Grow a stache
6. Make a playlist
7. Learn a language
8. Pick up an instrument
9. Make a facemask
10. Make a real meal!! 5+ a day baby
11. Go grocery shopping for said meal (2m apart)
12. Inadvertently have sex with a flatmate
13. Question your sexuality
14. Masturbate. A lot.
15. Catch up on your lecture material
16. Start a fitness routine
17. Drop said fitness routine
18. Have an online romance
19. Communicate via large signs with your neighbours, a la Taylor Swift
20. Grow your pubes out
21. Fuck it, grow out all of your body hair (no one will see it anyway)
22. Paint or draw your window’s view
23. Get ordained
24. Get your sleep schedule in order
25. Fuck up your sleep schedule again by watching porn til 3 am
26. Day drink
27. Schedule an online dick appointment
28. Call your parents
29. Chain smoke
30. Mani pedis xx
31. Get a stick and poke
32. Take a bubble bath. If you don’t have a bath tape up your shower and make a standing one.
33. Bake some cookies and deliver to your neighbours via drone.
34. Donate non-perishable food to food banks and women’s shelters
35. Take a walk
36. Give yourself hickeys with a vacuum cleaner to feel some sort of intimacy
37. Shower you gross piece of shit
38. Read free books at JSTOR (you don’t need to be a student)
39. Listen to Radio One 91FM at http://www.r1.co.nz/streampopout.php
40. Start vlogging
41. Look at pictures of crowded spaces and imagine you were there
42. Have a party with your mates over Skype
43. Make a body pillow using hair found in the shower drain
44. Cry
45. Cry wank
46. List all your flatmates stuff on TradeMe, as a prank bro
47. Play the Sims until you are convinced that you, too, are living in a simulation
48. Find the best hiding spots in your flat for when looters start raiding your suburb
49. Go on Omegle
50. Make a collage using old magazines and textbooks
51. Watch all 1235 BuffCorrell videos
52. Make a TikTok, I know you want too
53. Sort out all the clothes that you can donate once this is all over
54. Revisit your farm on Farmville
55. Do the dishes
56. Make a cocktail by combining whatever leftover drinks you have
57. Listen to Blonde by Frank Ocean and rethink all your past relationships
58. Sell your feet pics online
59. Make your bed
60. Make a Club Penguin account at https://cponline.pw/
61. Start a poke war with all your mates on Facebook
62. Go mushroom hunting
63. Buy 60+ hours worth of Adobe training videos for $34, original price $1600
64. Watch every Adam Sandler movie in one night
65. Cut yourself some bangs
66. Write a bad rap song and put it on YouTube
67. Start a fight on Dunedin News
68. Start a band over skype and keep the glitches in as art
69.