Signs someone might not be okay

• They've stopped turning up, or have pulled back from people
• They seem more stressed, flat, irritable or anxious than usual
• They mention not sleeping or eating, or struggling to keep up with study
• They say things like "what's the point" or "I can't do this anymore"

How to check in

1. Ask. Find a quiet moment and ask how they're really doing. "You've seemed a bit off lately, are you okay?" is enough.
2. Listen. Let them talk. You don't need answers or advice.
3. Encourage support. Suggest someone who can help, like 1737, Student Health or OUSA Student Support, and offer to help them make contact.
4. Follow up. Check in again in a few days. It shows you meant it.

If it's a crisis

Thoughts of suicide? Call the Suicide Crisis Helpline on 0508 828 865 (24/7).

You don't need the perfect words. What matters is that the person feels heard and knows where to go next. You're not expected to be a counsellor or to fix it yourself.

1. Find somewhere private where they can talk comfortably.
2. Listen and believe them. Let them share as much or as little as they want, at their own pace.
3. Thank them for telling you. If something has happened to them, let them know it's not their fault.
4. Ask what they'd like to happen next. Don't make decisions for them, unless someone's safety is at risk.
5. Point them to support (see Support services), or offer to help them make contact.
6. Let the CDO know if it involves the club, e.g. a member, a committee member or a club event.
7. Look after yourself afterwards (see Looking after yourself).

The University of Otago and OUSA have zero tolerance for sexual misconduct. That's any inappropriate or unwanted behaviour of a sexual nature, including sexual assault, sexual harassment, making or sharing intimate recordings without consent, and retaliation against someone who speaks up.

If you've experienced sexual misconduct, you're not alone. Support is available, and you get to choose whether, and how much, you engage with it. You'll be heard and treated with dignity and respect, without blame or judgement, no matter the situation.

If someone discloses to you

1. Listen. Find a quiet, private space and put your phone away. Let them speak at their own pace. Don't rush to fill silences, and let them lead the conversation.
2. Validate their feelings. Let them know their reactions are normal. Be clear that responsibility lies only with the person who caused harm, not with them.
3. Empower and support. Ask what they need and check they're somewhere safe. Help them connect with support, like Te Whare Tāwharau, friends or whānau, or helplines.
4. Look after yourself. Hearing a disclosure can be heavy. You don't have to handle it alone, so reach out for support yourself.

After hours or want to stay anonymous? Safe to Talk: 0800 044 334, or text 4334 (24/7).

Reaching out is never a black mark against your club. We'd always rather hear about something early, and you can talk to us in confidence.

Dealing with behaviour issues, conduct breaches or committee conflict? See our Conduct, Complaints & Governance page.

Clubs where people feel safe and welcome are the ones where members speak up early, before small things become big ones.

• Think about adding a Welfare Officer to your committee: someone who looks out for members' wellbeing, knows where to point people, and is a friendly first point of contact
• Have at least one exec do the OUSA consent and welfare training (run each semester)
• Share this page or the key support numbers with members, e.g. in your welcome email, group chat or socials
• Make it clear who members can talk to if something's wrong, including someone other than the President
• Plan events that don't centre on alcohol, so everyone can join in
• Check in on new and quieter members, not just the regulars

Dealing with the moment is only part of it. Afterwards, think about ongoing support, looking after yourself, and what could stop it happening again.

Running a club is a volunteer role on top of study, work and life. The best way to look after your club is to look after yourself first.

After a hard conversation

• Take a breather. It's normal to feel shaken or drained.
• Debrief with the CDO, OUSA Student Support, Student Health or 1737. You can talk to a mate too, but leave out any identifying details.
• Remember you've done your part by listening and pointing them to support. You don't have to carry it.

Signs it might be getting too much

• Club stuff is regularly eating into your study or sleep
• You're dreading club messages or meetings
• You feel like you're the only one holding things together

If that sounds familiar, it's okay to step back, hand things over, or ask for help. Get in touch with the CDO and we'll work out a plan together.

Emergency

OUSA and University

Dunedin and national support